The Joys & Pitfalls of Writing With Foreign Languages

[sordid-humors.livejournal.com]

I come to my writer friends today with some food for thought....

Like many folks here, I read and write in multiple languages—but this is a question more-so of format and style, and so applies to everyone, multi-lingual or not.

I’m finding that when we write from the point of view of an English-speaking narrator, it feels most natural to write out the foreign language as Italicized dialogue. For example: 

“Bre! Blágo!” he bellowed.

Which feels much better than, say:

“Hey! That's lucky!” he bellowed.

The inclusion of the original language as it was heard by the narrator feels more authentic and helps to keep readers firmly in the world of the narrative. The first example is by far the more popular way of going about foreign-language inclusion… until you get into Cyrillic-based languages, Japanese, Chinese, Arabic, or any language straying outside of the Romanized alphabet.

At this point, we as writers have a choice to make: we can either drop into Italicized phonetics (which are good up to a certain point—namely when upside-down letter E’s becomes involved, then it all dissolves into chaos and readers check out) or we can leave the language in its correct written form (sometimes jarring, suddenly seeing Kanji or backwards R’s in the middle of a neat paragraph) and drop down into footnotes for a proper translation. Either one of these options are squiffy, both having their own sets of pro’s and con’s.

Anyone seen creative ways to work with or around these interludes of dialogue? How do you handle this when the situation arises in your own writing?

My second musing—and, for me, the ultimately larger query—is what to do when the narrator themselves is non-English speaking. A good example would be a scene written from Fleur Delacour’s perspective during which she is conversing with her mother or sister in French. It feels natural to fall into the second category of translation shown above, where foreign-language dialogue is translated into English and written out in Italics to suggest the foreign language without actually including it. However, with this method we lose some of the intrigue of the language: some of the romance dies when we lose that connection to the original spoken language.

I’ve approached this writing conundrum in some different ways but have never been satisfied. One method I tried was taking the entire section—dialogue, inner monologue, observations and all—and placing it in Italics, as my narrator, a Frenchman, would not only speak in French but think and process his surroundings in French, too. The full Italics were to suggest his French-language thoughts. It worked… alright, I guess. Like I said, I wasn’t entirely pleased. I suppose to readers it made enough sense to be passable. The scene was ominous, lending the Italics a moody, stuck-in-time feel which was more-or-less appropriate.

We could take my method to the extreme, writing the entire scene in the character’s language of thought—so the above example would become a passage, 200-300 words entirely in French—and then following with the same scene in English translation. This could be cool… or it could be chunky and ultimately turn readership away. Thoughts?

At the end of the day, my musing consists of….

What is the best way to communicate a scene from a non-English-speaking character’s point of view when they are speaking with others in their mother tongue? Is there a way to retain some of the romance of the spoken language without clogging the format and visual flow of your page?

I look forward to chatting about this in the comments! It’s something I’ve been beating my head against for a while now….

Sapiophile, out. 
sordid

Comments

[colakarmon.livejournal.com]

Personally, I think that the inclusion of a foreign tongue really does lend to a sort of added intrigue. My own rules when using interspersing of a language other than English is to just keep it short and too the point. I find that anything longer than two sentences of anything other than English will immediately turn readers off. So it's best to use other languages in short bursts, typically. even when what they're saying can be easily inferred.

My suggestion for larger pieces is either a sentence-by-sentence translation (with the phrase in italics and then the English in parentheses right after it) or a page-to-page comparison, where you would write in on language on one page and then the page next to it would say the exact same thing, only in English. To make that method the most effective, the reader would have to be able to see both pages at once to make quick comparisons and it would help draw them into the experience of the translation. I've not used either of these since I've never done such large chunks of foreign tongue, but this is probably what I would end up doing if I did.

As someone who uses Japanese often, I also understand the tribulation that comes with trying to express a Japanese phrase and simultaneous concept in writing. It's a frustrating thing, particularly for those who didn't grow up with the concept of Kanji and the many meanings and pronunciations,the puns and clever word concoctions that can be made when using them. It's usually just best to stick with the basic Romanization of the language and weave explanation subtly through the plot, if one is really necessary. Footnotes can be off-putting unless the piece itself is constantly full of them.

[sordid-humors.livejournal.com]

I agree.

I really like your page-to-page idea. If only we could do something like that in fandom--alas, this genius is limited to print, my first and forever love.

I applaud your efforts to keep the romance of the original language alive--especially all those little nuances of Kanji and the sheer beauty of the script. It's not enough to simply include the words, the foreign language must be a part of the narrative, weighted with significance, otherwise it's just language for the sake of "coolness". Bah, humbug on that shit.

Pedantry United.
<3