The Joys & Pitfalls of Writing With Foreign Languages

[sordid-humors.livejournal.com]

I come to my writer friends today with some food for thought....

Like many folks here, I read and write in multiple languages—but this is a question more-so of format and style, and so applies to everyone, multi-lingual or not.

I’m finding that when we write from the point of view of an English-speaking narrator, it feels most natural to write out the foreign language as Italicized dialogue. For example: 

“Bre! Blágo!” he bellowed.

Which feels much better than, say:

“Hey! That's lucky!” he bellowed.

The inclusion of the original language as it was heard by the narrator feels more authentic and helps to keep readers firmly in the world of the narrative. The first example is by far the more popular way of going about foreign-language inclusion… until you get into Cyrillic-based languages, Japanese, Chinese, Arabic, or any language straying outside of the Romanized alphabet.

At this point, we as writers have a choice to make: we can either drop into Italicized phonetics (which are good up to a certain point—namely when upside-down letter E’s becomes involved, then it all dissolves into chaos and readers check out) or we can leave the language in its correct written form (sometimes jarring, suddenly seeing Kanji or backwards R’s in the middle of a neat paragraph) and drop down into footnotes for a proper translation. Either one of these options are squiffy, both having their own sets of pro’s and con’s.

Anyone seen creative ways to work with or around these interludes of dialogue? How do you handle this when the situation arises in your own writing?

My second musing—and, for me, the ultimately larger query—is what to do when the narrator themselves is non-English speaking. A good example would be a scene written from Fleur Delacour’s perspective during which she is conversing with her mother or sister in French. It feels natural to fall into the second category of translation shown above, where foreign-language dialogue is translated into English and written out in Italics to suggest the foreign language without actually including it. However, with this method we lose some of the intrigue of the language: some of the romance dies when we lose that connection to the original spoken language.

I’ve approached this writing conundrum in some different ways but have never been satisfied. One method I tried was taking the entire section—dialogue, inner monologue, observations and all—and placing it in Italics, as my narrator, a Frenchman, would not only speak in French but think and process his surroundings in French, too. The full Italics were to suggest his French-language thoughts. It worked… alright, I guess. Like I said, I wasn’t entirely pleased. I suppose to readers it made enough sense to be passable. The scene was ominous, lending the Italics a moody, stuck-in-time feel which was more-or-less appropriate.

We could take my method to the extreme, writing the entire scene in the character’s language of thought—so the above example would become a passage, 200-300 words entirely in French—and then following with the same scene in English translation. This could be cool… or it could be chunky and ultimately turn readership away. Thoughts?

At the end of the day, my musing consists of….

What is the best way to communicate a scene from a non-English-speaking character’s point of view when they are speaking with others in their mother tongue? Is there a way to retain some of the romance of the spoken language without clogging the format and visual flow of your page?

I look forward to chatting about this in the comments! It’s something I’ve been beating my head against for a while now….

Sapiophile, out. 
sordid

Comments

[sordid-humors.livejournal.com]

I'm one of those people, I confess, who breaks up flow with long sentences of foreign dialogue. I try not to do it unless the dialogue itself is important to the story, and I provide footnote translations of the spoken words as needed. I find that sometimes, the fact that a foreign language is being spoken and not always understood by other characters present can be a very important part of a scene.

When I use foreign dialogue, it is either from a language I speak myself or have consulted with native speakers. You're right that it's critical to understand what you're referencing and use the language and culture both correctly and respectfully.

My problem with the occasional dropping of a "Merde!" is that it doesn't say that much about a character... other than that they know how to exclaim "shit" in French. If my characters are speaking a foreign tongue, it has significance--enough that I want my readers to remember that moment or content at a later date. I use foreign language as a punctuation mark, as a way to draw a reader's attention. A contributing factor is that I write a number of Viktor Krum-style characters, folks with a limited English vocabulary, potentially biased view-point and strong cultural background. When my Krum speaks Bulgarian, it's because he's muttering something highly inappropriate to a teammate and doesn't want anyone to know what he's talking about because of the potential media scandal. He's not being cute--he's being devious and secretive while covering his own ass. That says something about the inner workings of my Krum character.

So foreign language can be used to add color to characters, to fill in characterization gaps, or to advance plot. I think the way we present a foreign language in the text says a lot about what the ultimate aim is.

[germankitty]

Well ... I may use a complete phrase or two myself, if the plot occasion warrants it. :) But I usually try to give a translation, however loosely, within the narrative:

- "Boris just told you to perform culturally unacceptable acts of a sexual nature to your closest female relative," Jack translated wryly to Bob.

- "Bob didn't understand exactly what Boris was muttering angrily under his breath, but as an educated guess, it wasn't very complimentary to their host."

- "Bob only knew a few words of (native language), but he certainly had heard that phrase often enough. It meant ...."

That type of thing usually works just as well if a simple "s/he said/cursed/negotiated in (native language)" isn't colorful enough and permits an (IMO) better reading flow than footnotes, end-of-chapter glossary or the hover method. :) But it's always, ALWAYS the character, plot or both which decides what I'll use ...