hd_writers | Point of View and Epithets -- are they our friends or do we hate them?

I was trying to explain to someone why her use of epithets wasn't working for me and decided to clarify my thoughts to myself and write them out in a post. I'd love to hear your thoughts, agreements, disagreements, etc.

Misuse of epithets will weaken your writing. Not everyone may notice or agree (just as not everyone may notice or agree that typos, misspellings and poor grammar weaken your writing), but it really, honestly will. Misused epithets corrupt your character's POV and are distracting to many readers.

1. What is an epithet?

According to the dictionary

"Any word or phrase applied to a person or thing to describe an actual or attributed quality: “Richard the Lion-Hearted” is an epithet of Richard I.

A characterizing word or phrase firmly associated with a person or thing and often used in place of an actual name, title, or the like, as “man's best friend” for “dog.”"

A word, phrase, or expression used invectively as a term of abuse or contempt, to express hostility." (For example: the ferret for Draco, speccy git for Harry, the Chosen One for Harry.)

The most common misuse of an epithet I see in H/D fandom is when a writer refers to Draco, through Harry's POV, as 'the blond'. Other examples: 'the hot, raven-haired seeker' instead of Harry, 'the large nosed potions Master' instead of Snape, 'the soon to be ex-girlfriend' instead of Ginny, 'the heavily-muscled, tattooed, panty-wearing former porn star' instead of (insert name here).

2. What is the proper way to use an epithet?

When the POV character is unsure of the identity of another character.

For example: Harry sees a blond man in the distance, but he can't make out his identity. He doesn't know it's Draco.

The blond man lifted two fingers and shouted, "Piss off."

"Ah," Harry thought. "It must be Malfoy."

In that instance, the use of "the blond" does not weaken the writing or corrupt Harry's POV because Harry is initially thinking of Draco as 'the blond' and not as 'Draco' or 'Malfoy'. Once he knows it's Draco, he will no longer refer to him as 'the blond' in his head.

When a character is doing something that makes the epithet relevant to the scene. For example: If Kingsley is making a speech addressing the wizarding world, it makes sense to refer to him as "the Minister for Magic". If he is buying groceries in Diagon Alley, it does not.

Another example of a situation in which it's appropriate to use an epithet is when the POV character referes endearingly, ironically, or scathingly to another character by an epithet. For example: Potter was on the broom again. Draco couldn't stand seeing the speccy git another minute in the air."

3. How does one misuse an epithet?

By having your POV character include it in his or her internal monologue/narration in a way that doesn't make sense for their relationship or that provides information that isn't relevant to the action. For example, if Harry and Draco have been in a loving relationship for many years, Harry is not going to think of Draco as "the man" or "the blond" or "the clever potioneer" (although he may think of him as 'the obnoxious prat' or 'the spoiled pureblood in dire need of a good, hard spanking' now and then).

Or: "Dammit, Potter!" Draco slammed his fist down on Potter's desk. "Kneazles are dropping dead left and right, and Magical Law Enforcement is doing nothing to stop it."

The treacle tart fan yawned and stretched his arms above his head. "Fuck em'. They're just Kneazles."

Draco's face crumpled. "I knew you didn't love me." He grabbed the boy who was crap at potions when they were in school's ink well and threw it in his face.

"You're mad," the brunet man said. "I love you with the passion of the exhalations of eight million Hungarian Horntails. Kneazles be damned. I'm doing you here and now on the desk, just to prove my love once and for all."

All their clothes fell off to save time, and Draco gazed up at Harry, every cell in his body pulsing with love. The man grabbed an industrial sized tube of lube. "Strawberry," he said. "Your favourite kind."

Basically, epithets are an outside view intruding into the POV passage, distancing the reader from the POV character.

4. But every other word in my fic is 'Harry' and/or 'Draco' and it's extremely irritating! What should I do?

a) Don't worry about it. It will be fine.

b) Restructure your sentences so you don't need to use so many proper nouns.

For example: Harry lifted his leg to allow Draco more room. Harry's thigh began to ache, but as soon as Draco penetrated him fiercely with Draco's throbbing man meat, Harry's discomfort became insignificant.

Could become something like: Harry lifted his leg to make more room. His thigh began to ache, but the discomfort became insignificant once Draco thrust into him with his pulsating flesh spear. He instantly exploded with the pleasure of a million, glistening double rainbows. It was so intense.

Other helpful discussions of epithet use:

Fandom Grammar -- Writing Tips: Epithets -- I love this article. It's very clear and full of many examples.

Epithets: Fandom's Designated Hitters

Point of View: Eye of the Beholder -- An article about POV in general, which includes discussion of epithets

Wise words from Rickey_a

Thanks to