Practice Corner - Starting your story

[witchyemerald.livejournal.com]

Starting your story - things not to do.


What make you want to read a story? Well, the summary for one. But, even with the best pairings and tag lines to get them to click that link, if you don’t hook your reader in the first paragraph, or so, their out.

With so much fanfiction to read, (or things in general) what will catch your reader's eye? What will turn them away?

Here are some tips on what not to do, from The Writing Cafe.

Starting with Dialogue

When you start with dialogue or an onomatopoeia is a bad idea because your readers don’t have any context about:
Characters
Point of View
Narrators
Setting
Current Action
It can confuse the reader rather than intrigue them. Most readers don’t have the patience to read on to figure out what that dialogue is about, who it was directed to, and who said it.
I know there are a lot of books that begin like this, but very few are able to get away with it.
Other bad beginnings/cliche beginnings may include:
Waking up
A daily routine (shower, breakfast, etc.)
Moving
Irrelevant weather
Info dumps
Excessive back story/exposition
Dreams
Flashbacks
Too much description


What do you think? What makes you turn back? Or what hooks you in?

Comments

[celestlyn.livejournal.com]

Great suggestions. I have done the info dump and excessive backstory/exposition. It usually becomes obvious when I read the page back. I had one light hearted story I was trying to do, but it got all bogged down with info dump and exposition and lost all sense of lightness. I had to scrap the whole thing and begin again. We think all of that info is germain to the story, but it can lose the reader from sheer boredom. Incorporating the info in various other ways takes it out of the tell and into the show category and keeps it in active rather than passive voice.

I can deal with dialogue to start, as long as it is clear and concise with no doubt as to what's going on in the first half page. Blathering on about things that matter little to the story and do not enhance the plot will lose me. I leaned that if what you are writing does not add to the story, moving it forward, then it is probably not going to matter if it is there or not. Starting off setting the stage with a big info dump is tedious and unnecessary and will cause me to question how the rest of the story will flow.

[tryslora]

I, personally, don't mind dialogue to start as long as it's not pure dialogue. If it's of the sort...

"Hey there."
"What's going on?"
"I don't know..."

Well, not that exactly, but you get the idea.. that's the kind of dialogue the turns me off. However, dialogue with description, with setting, something that creates a scene and builds on it, and most importantly grounds the reader in the story... that can work.

Lately I try to start with a thesis sentence. I'm not even sure why... I know we're supposed to find the perfect opening sentence, and that's not actually why I do it. What I'm trying to do is basically inform the reader what they're in for with the very first sentence, and use that as my hook.

It also gives me something to circle back to, like when writing an essay, letting the end echo the beginning and helping give closure to the reader. This is a relatively new technique for me, which I started doing after a published story caused consternation for the editor and it turned out to be just that it needed that closure. They wanted me to completely rewrite something, when all I really needed to do was add an opening that matched the ending, and I've been doing it ever since.

When I'm reading, I just want to be hooked, and it's that simple. I want those first few sentences to give me all the information I need to know in order to know whether this is a fic I want to read. I need a sense of character, and a sense of style of writing. I need to know where the plot is going, and what sort of plot to expect. I want an idea of the voice that the story will be told in.

That sounds like a lot of information, but really it only takes a few sentences to show it. I don't want length exposition--if the writer gives me that in the first paragraph, I'm expecting it throughout the story and it's just not something that interests me. I want the pace right off the bat.

A lot of writers set the scene in careful detail, but I find that derails me because I want to get inside the characters' heads. On the other hand, other readers like that level of description, so there can't be a hard and fast rule.

One rule I've heard is to start in the middle of the action--in media res if I recall the phrasing, and I might have that wrong. But a lot of folks take that to mean start in the middle of an action scene, with guns blazing and people screaming. That's not what it means. It means... find the beginning of your story, but realize that what the characters think is the beginning might not be the action, and might not be the right point for the reader. So slide forward in time, pick the point where the conflict begins, and start there. The background can come out in bits and pieces where needed, but the story should start with the conflict, because every story needs conflict. And that conflict should be laid out for the reader from the beginning, so we can see what's driving this particular piece. That's a part of the hook, IMO.

And I'm babbling, so I'm going to hush now.

[slashedsilver.livejournal.com]

Your example of terrible dialogue made me laugh! <3

I like that idea of starting with a thesis statement, or at least in the middle of some action. I sometimes fall into the trap of trying to set up the setting, when that can actually be discovered along the way.

[josephinestone.livejournal.com]

But a lot of folks take that to mean start in the middle of an action scene, with guns blazing and people screaming. That's not what it means. It means... find the beginning of your story

This, Oh My God, this. I've been on a few sites that we critique each others work and this happens all the time. They are all it needs to start with action and I'm like this is the climax of your story and that is why you got stuck at chapter three after two chapters of flashback...which reminds me

Please no Prologue climax scenes. (picturing prologue porn all of a sudden, lol) The whole I'm going to hook my reader with this prologue and then the prologue turns out to be repeated word for word at the climax of the story. Why do people even do this? I know prologues can be good, but I cringe when I even see the word now. Before helping people with critiques, I could enjoy an okay one. Now, writers have to make me believe there was no other way to write that story.

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

In media res is right. That was some quality babbling right there!

[eidheann_writes]

I actually disagree with some of that. Dialog (not long conversation, but a line of dialog) can be a very engaging opener, especially when it invites the reader in to action. Something Happening is always a good way to hook the initial interest.

I also have seen waking/routine done well as an opener to contrast with... something. I agree there needs to be a level of foreshadowing for it to be clear that X is normal, but this normal stuff is all going to change.

I dunno. I guess that list may be useful, but really it's *how* you use those things that make it a good or bad opener.

(Generally the stuff that makes me turn back are much more simple: serious errors in grammar/syntax, massive ooc, or squicks. Otherwise I will pretty much always make it through more than just the opening paragraphs)

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

Heh! Agree with you and should have checked before commenting below :-)

Ooh, waking, Metamorphoses: now there's a book where it's done right.

[kitty_fic]

I agree with this!

[slashedsilver.livejournal.com]

Starting with dialogue: I'm quite sure I've seen it done before, and successfully. I think the summary of a story actually sets up a good context for this, and authors can make it work. It can be a bit disorienting, and I suppose that's where the writer is coming from.

The thing that makes me turn back is actually the basic sentence structure. I get easily bored, so I don't want to notice that this author is basically starting all her sentences the same way, or adding adverbs to describe every single piece of spoken dialogue, or replacing every single "said" with a unique and interesting synonym. No matter how well the author avoids SPaG errors, I cringe and have to backpedal.

witchyemerald -- by the way, I love this corner! :) I find it very useful to talk about the writing process.

[josephinestone.livejournal.com]

I second this.

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

I disagree that starting with dialogue is always a bad idea: I think that it can be an excellent one for certain genres, such as action, thriller and crime when a story is begun in the middle of action. Though I will grant you that it is quite often starting with monologue, not infrequently along the lines of 'Who's there? Show yourself!'

There's no point establishing character or point of view beforehand in these contexts, because the stories are about the actions, and because the initial character is often quickly dead. Even in action stories where we follow the hero, the most important thing we need to learn is that she is heroic, which is best shown through action, so starting with her shouting at everyone in a room to get down which she proceeds to shoot across their heads at the man who is reaching for the bomb detonator does this with the most economy.

Fully agree with you that it can be a very bad idea for all the reasons listed above, but I think that 'is a bad idea' is an overstatement.

[khalulu]

thanks for calling the hero she!

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

I had Ros from Spooks in mind. She's the best!

[khalulu]

I don't think I know who that is, but yay for female heroes! For some reason I am thinking of Sabriel and Lirael just now.

[khalulu]

I think good dialogue can open a story well. And in fanfic, we already know a lot about the characters and background.

I care about the mind behind the writing, I guess - is this person going to have something interesting to say, or going to say something in a funny or moving or beautiful way? I can forgive spelling errors etc. if the characters or style or outlook or plot catch me, so it's not easy for me to say generically what I will or won't like.

[meglw0228.livejournal.com]

I actually found this quite surprising. I had read somewhere once that it actually was ok/good to start with dialogue. And I really wish I remembered what it was from so I could post a link, but it also detailed what not to start with. One of the main things I took away from it though was that your opening paragraph should be something shocking, or moving, or eye-catching. It should resonate with the reader. And I think that's what this person was saying too, but I also think that dialogue can do that. I've read some wonderful original work that begins with a shocking first line of dialogue and hooks me as soon as I read it. And then I have to know what will shock me next! I think if you're writing good dialogue then all the things this poster said(readers don’t have the patience to read on to figure out what that dialogue is about, who it was directed to, and who said it) will be apparent within the first half-page, if not even the first paragraph. Even in fanfic, I've read some excellent stories that start with dialogue and are written so wonderfully that I'm certainly not confused at all.

I also agree that the info dumps, excessive back story, and too much description will throw me right out of a story. I should say it doesn't happen all the time, as long as as the author is able to tantalize me with something interesting, but generally if there are big walls of text I won't stick around for long.

[josephinestone.livejournal.com]

I have opened with dialogue before, but not often. I think I'm much more guilty of info dumps and they are the most common that I run into. They are also what make me lose interest. Ironically, with fan fiction, if the writing is good but the beginning is info dumpy I scan until I see dialogue and continue from that point on. But with fan fiction I don't have to get interested in the characters over and over again. I'm reading it because I am interested in the characters already.

With both fan fiction and original, I like stories to start. I don't really want any back ground information in the beginning. Just tell me the story.

I loved almost every story from hd_tropes, so I'm going to grab some of their first lines:

Potions Are Quiet (http://hd-tropes.livejournal.com/7161.html): My first kill was Thomas Avery.
Silvermoon (http://hd-tropes.livejournal.com/7805.html): Draco finds himself standing there, outside a small, two-story house, clutching a silver box in his hands like a present.
You Can Give Me All That I Lack (http://hd-tropes.livejournal.com/8244.html): It started with a push on the basketball court.
Lost To You (http://hd-tropes.livejournal.com/11367.html): I've been telling myself all night that I'm absolutely fine, that I don't care that Malfoy's across the room with his wife, acting like he's having the time of his life.

So, that's what I like—like what tryslora said: I need a sense of character, and a sense of style of writing.

[slashedsilver.livejournal.com]

Those are some excellent opening lines.

[obliqueo.livejournal.com]

HD TROPES! There are many great fics there, they need more love :D

[cyn-ful.livejournal.com]

The first thing for me is if there is one misspelled word in the first few paragraphs. If it is one, depending on what it is, I can ignore it. If someone did teh instead of the - I realize they were typing fast and just missed it. But if I get "Harry walked into a wall and creted a secrit passage." I run. Sometimes I try to determine if it is something worth reading, that gets me.

I honestly do not judge the fic by the first paragraph, unless it is like I said before. Even bad fics I will try to finish - someone worked hard on it. They should get some kind of acknowledgement. Other than that, I give it a page or two. Sometimes they get better after the story gets rolling.

Biggest (and I think this is because I have been desperate lately for a specific type) pet peeve.
Harry walked into the hallway and guess what he found? (Really, I want you to guess and when you give me 20 comments, I will write some more). He looked left and right and then ran out the door.

YAY I finished it - write me a review and I promise I will post more tomorrow!

cyn/slytherin

[xenadragon-xoxo.livejournal.com]

I actually disagree with a few of these. I don't mind stories starting with dialog, if it's done right. Intentionally creating intrigue with a vague dialog is definitely more than acceptable when used in a humourous (and sometimes innuendo-riddled) or even mysterious way. The whole waking up/daily routine thing can actually be a very nice start to a story depicting the loneliness of a character (a description of a monotonous routine with a smattering of sadness can achieve that), and it can also be a nice beginning to a fluffy story describing the daily life of a couple. The dreams/flashbacks bit is slightly overdone, perhaps, but also effective in setting the mood of a story. At the end of the day, I think it's how the first paragraph is written rather than what it contains that determines a good beginning.

Almost anything at all can hook me and I almost always finish the stories that I've started, regardless of beginnings. However, I get turned off very quickly by grammar or spelling mistakes in the first paragraph. I don't mind a few errors scattered here and there, but if I see a glaring error somewhere in the beginning of a story, I'm out. I once attempted to read a story that started something like this - "He was thirty, and that was an understatement. He felt as if he hadn't drank in years." - and was so immensely confused that I had to stare at the first sentence a few times before I realised that the author meant "thirsty" and not "thirty". There was another error in the first paragraph - "emit" was spelled as "emmit" - and I couldn't read on after that.

Even so, I do believe that it's the execution and not the method that makes a story worth reading, and stories really shouldn't be judged by their openings any more than books should be judged by their covers.

[khalulu]

oh, that's funny - I was imagining someone who felt a LONG way past 29, but I couldn't figure out what it had to do with the drinking....

[ashindk.livejournal.com]

First of all; thank you for this post. It helped me pinpoint what exactly was wrong with a story I'm writing. Too much information being dumped in the first few paragraphs, and not enough action. It made the mood a little too sinister for what is intented to be a light hearted fluffy fic.


For me to be hooked into a story, I need to be surprised -- but not too surprised! There must be something interesting, like a slightly different spin on an old trope, or some really interesting writing, but it's a hard balance to strike, because if the writing becomes too different, or the story becomes too strange, I'll turn back.

In some ways, I think it's easier with fanfic, because so much is a given; I don't have to describe the appearance of the characters or the setting in great detail right away, because the reader already know what it means when I say "Harry and Draco in the Great Hall".
But on the other hand, those same things make it difficult to lure the reader in, and make them curious about the characters and the world -- because we already know them... Or at least we think we do.

[dracogotgame.livejournal.com]

This post is fairly accurate and I do agree with a lot of things here. But in certain cases, starting with a dialogue can be a good thing. Particularly if you're going for a humour fic. That one outlandish, out of the box dialogue can reel your reader in. I do agree that you absolutely have to add context immediately afterwards, but it can work.

For example, if you saw this dialogue starting a Christmas themed fic

"Harry! That is not where the carrot goes on the snowman!"

Would you consider reading it? *grins* I would, just because I'd be interested in what naughty Harry has done.

I think It's all situational. So long as you don't wind up writing too much, overdo jokes and basically beat around the bush- it's okay. For fluff/ humor at least, a crisp, sharp tale is better than a long one.

[drarryisgreen]

HAHA! I want to know where the carrot was put!

[dracogotgame.livejournal.com]

Don't we all? *grins*

Ooh, you should definitely write a fic on this :P

[susannah-wilde.livejournal.com]

I actually don't mind if a fic starts out with dialogue as long as you can tell what's happening a few paragraphs in. However, I do agree that starting with an info dump is boring and I probably wont finish the fic. One thing that will make me exit a fic is if there's too much description, especially about clothes, many SPaG errors, or the overuse of epithets. (The blond, the raven, the green-eyed boy.) The one word that guarantees a quick exit, at least for me, is orbs for eyes.

I usually don't bother with a fic's intro- at least not at first. Before I start to read, I scroll down to the middle of the fic and read a few paragraphs. If I like it, I go back to the beginning and start. I run the risk of reading spoilers, but it works well as in the back of my mind I think it's going to get better.

[obliqueo.livejournal.com]

One thing that will make me exit a fic is if there's too much description, especially about clothes, many SPaG errors, or the overuse of epithets. (The blond, the raven, the green-eyed boy.)

This! Totally agree. Clothes and epithets drive me mad.

[drarryisgreen]

Oh I hate hate hate...ok too strong of a word but definitely cringeworthy: "Come here," he said slyly to the Gryffindor in front of him.

OMG... I read one more paragraph, this continues, I stop reading.

[dracogotgame.livejournal.com]

One thing that will make me exit a fic is if there's too much description, especially about clothes, many SPaG errors, or the overuse of epithets. (The blond, the raven, the green-eyed boy.)

I find myself overdoing the epithets sometimes. I think it's mostly because when it's just two people in a fic, things get a bit repetitive.

"Harry scowled at Draco. Draco sneered back. Then Harry said "I hate you." "Well, I'm not too fond of you myself," Draco replied. Harry sneered and turned away"

Know what I mean? So, I generally use 'the blond' in there sometimes so there's a break from HarryDracoHarryDraco... I don't think I've used the green eyed boy or the raven since my very, very first fics though. I dunno, I just kept picturing Harry as a bird and it made me snigger...

[xonceinadream]

I disagree on so many of these. I think that almost anything can be an interesting hook as long as it's actually interesting. So readers are going to stop reading because one line of dialogue is too much to figure out? I don't think you should have a whole page of dialogue without information but it jumps right into the action which I appreciate as both a reader and a writer. Dialogue is generally how I start because, like I said, it gets into the action and is generally the best way to give the readers the feel of the story.

[obliqueo.livejournal.com]

I don't understand some of them.
Dialogues as starter...I believed I just did that. Glad I have sketches to cover it. Though I have to say, even if it's a fanfic which we already have more sense in characters and background, I still don't like it. If they start with dialogue, then most likely the fic has 90% of dialogues. What a nightmare!
I can relate to many of those, which I might have all done it before (ouch). I think if it's fanfic, we already have more information, so the open line wouldn't be a dead blow. I haven't read any "real novel" for years, so I am not the best judge on this.

[drarryisgreen]

My personal writing style has no set rule.

I’ve started with dialogue, and some I have not.

I have to admit, the ones that started w/ dialogue weren’t the greatest stories I wrote. LOL

But the first line for me, for my stories, has a lot to do with the conflict.

“Hey, Ginny! Please wait!” -> The conflict of the story was that Ginny was leaving and what was Harry going to do about it.

“This isn’t about you.” -> This was mostly a dialogue story so it started with dialogue.

It ended the way it usually yet zealously did: a satisfying moan from both parties indicating another successful passionate session. -> This story was about casual sex and how one person wanted more and the other didn’t want a serious relationship.

For me when it comes to reading: I see the first mistake… “their” instead of “there” and I groan.

I continue reading I find two more mistakes, I’m done.

In a really good story, a really really good story, it catches me and midway I notice a tiny error, and it’s no big deal b/c I’m already hooked. But if I see something in the first paragraph…my response (as rude as it is, is: FUCK THIS).

I made the mistake of continuing on with an 80k story that had so many errors and the conclusion wasn’t even that great that I felt like I wasted two days reading it.

I’m not denying that I haven’t made errors. Months later I re-read one of my betaed FEST fic and I find an error: completely was completely and I groaned, hated myself for it. My early fics and WIPs are not betaed but for a fest fic, for me to actually make someone feel that it’s worth reading, it has to be error free. I know errors can always be there but NO ONE should get their/there/they’re wrong and your/you’re wrong. It makes you look sloppy and that you really don’t care about the reader.

[dracogotgame.livejournal.com]

I agree with this completely. I don't have rules either, and I find that works best for me. Just let the fic flow the way it will ^_^

If you force a style on it, I find the story comes apart at the seams...

[kitty_fic]

One of the things that will make me lose interest is when the main characters don't make it into the same scene fast enough.
If I'm reading a Harry/Draco fic... I don't want to read tons of chapters about just one... I want to see them interacting!
It's just a personal preference of mine...

I'm not sure that's a writing problem... maybe more of a plot thing...

and it may not mean bad writing... I just have a short attention span!

[dracogotgame.livejournal.com]

One of the things that will make me lose interest is when the main characters don't make it into the same scene fast enough.

I can't count the number of times I gave up on a fic because Harry and Draco still hadn't met in Chapter 6! I agree, maybe we're just short fic readers- you and me- but really sometimes I'm like...can we please have these boys meet up already? XD

[writcraft]

I'm going to repeat a lot of what's been said here already, sorry for coming to this post too late. I disagree with a lot of things on this list, but I love this post so very much and the discussions it has generated. Thank you for forcing me to examine how I begin my fics.

Regarding dialogue, as a number of people have already said, I actually like openings which involve dialogue. The only time I have ever received a comment specifically on my open sentence was when I used the following opening line:

“Malfoy’s dead.”

I know that's not exactly original, but it drew one particular reader in who wanted to find out more, so I was happy with it.

Regarding overly descriptive passages, I also actually enjoy lyrical, descriptive opening passages which paint me a picture of the scene which is almost tangible. A lot of my favourite literature begins in such a manner.

Regarding morning routines, I also rather like stories that start with someone going about their morning routine, as it puts me instantly on edge. Perhaps I read too much dark and dastardly stuff, but if someone is doing something completely normal and innocuous from the outset of a story, I feel an overwhelming sense of impending doom :D

I think excessive backstory can be an issue, but again, it just depends. I think the key word in there is "excessive" - I have no qualms with a little backstory. I would, for example, continue reading something which started along the lines of "By the time Severus Snape was ten years old, he knew that he was going to marry Lily Evans." I know that sort of narrative voice doesn't appeal across the board, but I like it. I want to know if Severus does marry Lily Evans *bites nails*

Finally, I also echo the comments above re: the opening line to Kafka's Metamorphosis being very fine, and I also love ""Under certain circumstance there are few hours in life more agreeable than the hour dedicated to the ceremony known as afternoon tea" (Henry James - Portrait of a Lady)