(no subject)

[emansil-12.livejournal.com]

I think most everyone is familiar with the American Idol, Britain's Got Talent, So You Think You can Dance, or any of those other type shows.  You know where people show up by the thousands, because someone, somewhere; friends, family, co workers, etc told them they had talent.  And they believed them.  And they believed in themselves.

Then they get there, and they're bad, or so very bad.   Or they're not bad, just not good, chances are exceedinglhy slim they ever will be.  No amount of trianing is going to make them good. By no means are they worthy of a place.  There's no ticket to Hollywood, (or wherever) to make it to even the first round.  These contestants are devestated, because they've been told they are good.  Some, you can tell, have just given up, some swear to keep trying.  But for what purpose?

So my question is:  How do you know when friend and family and those that love you tell you you have talent, that you really do?  And how do you know when they're just saying that because they love you and want you to be happy?

Comments

[lordhellebore]

The logical answer, imho, would be to show the fruits of your talent to people who have no reason to spare your feelings. That way, you're more likely to get an honest reaction. Or you've got to be dead sure you can persuade your friends/family to tell you the truth.

[emansil-12.livejournal.com]

I've actually tried that through different critique groups and various previous unknown betas.I"ve had no one give specific critiques, usually they chose to not answer or dwell on other things. I have to believe that by their non answers they have actually answered the question.

[emansil-12.livejournal.com]

I've belonged to and been part of several critique groups in the past. There were specific things pointed out, but noone ever said, you suck in so many words. I think it's really hard to say something that blunt to someone you care for. So people choose to not anser the question, at least that's my thoughts. By not answsering they are answering.

I've thought of seeing if there's any other critique groups out there, they seem to come and go with not a lot of lastingness to them. At the same time, it's both thrilling and horrifying to think of going through that again.

[starlitshore.livejournal.com]

Um. My family tends to be really upfront in telling each other whether we're good at something or not. Like ... in the most sarcastic way possible. In regards to my crap singing voice, for example, I have received the following criticism: "If you busked on the corner, people would pay you to shut up." "You couldn't carry a tune in the back of a dump truck." and my personal favourite "Who sings this song? [Artist] Yeah, so let's keep it that way." So when they tell me that they think I'm a good writer, I raise a judgemental eyebrow at them but take their compliment at face value because I know they're being sincere.

When it comes to other people who are unsure, I'd advise them to seek opinions outside of their family and friends. Like, total strangers. I love the internet for that. We write fic, we post it, and people either say it's good, say it's crap, or don't say anything at all. (What I don't love about it is the sense of entitlement people have developed where constructive criticism is seen as bitchy flaming. It's to the point where I don't comment on something unless I loved it because if I didn't and I want to say something helpful, I'm worried I'll have my head torn off. :\)

[emansil-12.livejournal.com]

Well, my outside contacs are severly limited, I live alone and am unemployed. my daughter, is an evangelical christian and does not read slash. My non fandom friend does not read fic, fan or published. So choices of who to get to read it is limitied. And my family was the exact opposite of yours, you never told anyone the truth if it was going to hurt their feelings. They just changed the subject or tried to find the positive, even if that was this teeny little part of it.

That maybe why, in my brain, when no one answers the question or changes the subject or focuses on some obcure part, they are in essence saying "you suck", but they just aren't saying it.

Interesting thing about the constuctive criticism being seen as flaming. Honestly there arew times I'd throw a party if I got anything even flames, at least i'd know it was read and it struck a chord good or bad with someone. Being ignored is not fun.

[starlitshore.livejournal.com]

If it's an unbiased beta you're looking for, there are tonnes of beta comms out there. You could even ask the person to read 500 words of it to get a feel so that they're not feeling daunted by 10 000 words or something? Or just tell your fandom friends to be honest with you, even if it hurts. Ask friends you've spoken with about disliking certain writing styles or even a specific fic. Ask them what they didn't like, or ask them to beta and be completely truthful. Nobody will ever improve without someone telling them what's not right.

[emansil-12.livejournal.com]

**Nobody will ever improve without someone telling them what's not right.**

Agreed. Now if I can only remain strong enough to ask the right people, and find people who will be willing to do this thing.