Beat the Negativity!

[kitty_fic]

When you hear that little voice telling you that you're not a good writer or everything you're doing is wrong. How do you combat that?

I've had several friends tell me that their writing has been crippled by negative thoughts and attitude.

What do you do when you start to compare yourself to others or have that niggling voice in the back of your mind telling you that you can't do it?

What are some things you have done or can do to quiet that negativity and push forward with a positive attitude?


“Comparison is the thief of joy.” ~Dwight Edwards

Comments

[sordid-humors.livejournal.com]

FYI, this is totally not helpful to 99% of writers. I will probably get flamed for the "negativity" of this. But this is how I roll. And Kitty asked....

Honestly: in my browser, I keep a folder of bookmarks titled "Why I Am A Good Writer." These are bookmarks of the locations of things which I consider to be poorly executed, lacking in style, or suffering from various grammatical diseases. They're clips from everywhere--newspaper articles, short stories and poems, informational pages, really anything. And I can read any one of them and say with confidence, "I could have done it better. Here's what I would fix...." When I feel myself starting to suffer from le suck,I run through one of these examples. And the more things I can pick out, the more I am reminded why it is I do what I do, why I can continue to believe that I am better than others.

Because writing is really just an exercise for the ego--a way of saying, "my interpretation of the world is better than anything you could imagine, conceive, or put words to." (At least, for me it is. So sue me. I'm being honest, not pretty.)

I live and breathe negativity--couldn't get by without it, honestly. It drives me. Positivity really has nothing to do with it, personally. It's all anger, rage, self-importance and ego, thanks. If I got too pleased with my lot in life, I'd probably stop writing all-together.

When I get stuck, I read the work of writers I respect. Then I go back to my own work and examine the places where it was working and try to build from the good things going on there. It's an ongoing process. But I believe that sometimes you have to hate what you're doing if you want to get better. That "negative voice" can be a writer's greatest ally.

[kjp-013.livejournal.com]

I've been thinking about this a lot recently, and I've come to the conclusion that I'm not a good writer. And you know what? I'm okay with that.

I've been writing longer, more plotty, stories in the last year (or I should say, trying...) and I've been struggling. I realised that that just isn't me. I've had writer's block for months with no end in sight, right up until I had that revelation. I'm not a writer of long, plotty stories; I write short pieces of fluff or PWP. And I think I'm pretty good at those.

Once I sat back and stopped trying to write the 20k fics, my writer's block broke and I've managed to write my remix fic (which was making me ill, trying to finish) and god knows how many short ficlets.

I think if you're struggling with how you see yourself as a writer, you need to look at what you know you're good at and concentrate on that for a while. Maybe, in the future, I'll start on those WiPs that are languishing on lappy, but, for now, I'm happy writing what I'm good at :)

[freakingcrups.livejournal.com]

That happens to me a lot. I think mostly because I'm the kind of person with no self confidence at all. And personally, I have no 'cure' for it. I usually just end of quitting writing that day and write again when I'm in a better mood. I try to tell myself that I'm my biggest critic and sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. So I'm definitely intrigued to hear what everyone else says.

[imera.livejournal.com]

I know I’m far from good, both writing and plotting, BUT I do not give up. My eventual goal is to write, even if it won’t be published, a book. It will most likely be like one of those sappy romantic harlequin books, because they have almost everything, romance, plot, angst… I just want to be able to say that I tried.

So why don’t I give up when I read a bunch of stores that are clearly way better than mine? And when someone tells me that the plot has holes or something like that? Because those guys has negative attitude, which is a waste of energy when a lot of people tells me they like the story or think it's ok. That positive feedback kills the negative, and gives me hope.

I have had some reviewers that are clearly rude. I don’t mind creative criticism, because it helps me grow, but I do not appreciate any negative attitude without a reason.
I wrote a semi AU snarry, because I don’t know locations and such in the UK it couldn’t be a complete AU. There was one person who complained about the locations, the plot, the ‘laws’, saying that England is not USA where people carry guns. Well, what should I do when bad guys has guns (because even in UK people have guns *shock*)? Should Severus throw a stick at them?
His kind of negative attitude is a waste with me, not only because I have a pretty good excuse to why I don’t know where the University lies in England (the internet wasn’t very helpful either and I didn't have a lot of time) but because it’s a semi AU, I made up my own town so I was able to write and plot without having to thing that they have to travel for hours to move from one place to another.
The sucky thing is that the person, although he/she added a nickname, left nothing where I can contact him and tell him what I think, I do not like people that hide like that and delete their comments. I might be a nice girl, but I don’t allow people to walk all over me.

Ok, I got off the track for a minute here. So why don’t I stop writing? Because I love writing, it’s a form of creativity that allows me to do things I wouldn’t do in RL, or those things that you can’t do in RL. I could maybe write and never post anything, but I love reviews, it feeds my need to write.

[imera.livejournal.com]

Although I write because I want to I know how the ego is being fed by posting your stories on the internet.

[sordid-humors.livejournal.com]

Yeah. I write professionally as well, so I have editors breathing down my neck half the time.

[kinky-kneazle.livejournal.com]

Maybe this won't work for others, but I honestly just keep writing. I switch to a different story, write a drabble, start with a fresh page and the sentence 'I want to write about...' The hardest thing about writing is silencing the inner critic that tells you 'that's not the right word' or (worse) 'this is utter crap'. I've had years without words because of that voice, and it's not fun.

The best advice I've ever read is to write like it doesn't matter. Keep a diary or writing journal - or even do it with your big bang, or that scary hd_holidays fic - and write as if no one is ever going to read it. Don't worry about the right word, the right order or anything like that. Anything - anything - can be fixed during the editing process. The best way to shut up the critic is to write too fast for the voice to keep up. It's some of that advice that's "easier said than done", I know, but it's something that makes Word Wars so powerful - you just want to get words on paper, so don't let the critic speak.

I highly recommend Natalie Goldberg's (http://www.amazon.com/Natalie-Goldberg/e/B000AP7I9G/ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1?qid=1328002921&sr=8-1) Wild Minds and Writing Down the Bones - it's where I first heard this theory, and when I'm having problems with my writing it's still the idea I go back to. In fact, I think I'm going to re-read Wild Mind over the weekend!

[halesmoon.livejournal.com]

This is exactly what I do too. I have certain people whose opinions I really trust and when I'm feeling down about my writing, I know I can ask them to honestly review it and give me their opinion. Nine times out of ten, I'm making a big deal out of nothing, or just need minor adjustments to get the ball rolling again.

Sometimes, I also reread comments to fic I've already posted. A couple of my stories got truly wonderful reviews, and reading those is always a nice boost in confidence.

[sordid-humors.livejournal.com]

I remember Writing Down The Bones from a freshman writing seminar I had to teach back in the day. I wanted to throw it out the window! I don't think I had a single student in three semesters say they liked it. I'm relieved to hear someone found it useful!

I'm more a proponent of Robert Hass, who went on retreat with the aim of only writing one paragraph a day. Just the one. He felt that by meditating and focusing on a small portion each day, he could better hone his craft. For me, thinking smaller has been more successful in producing high-caliber work than writing all over the place. Too much burns me out! >_<"

But I too try to write as though it's only for myself and will never see the light of day. Doing so can lend a really intimate quality to the pacing and tone of a piece.

[tariana.livejournal.com]

I am so glad to hear you say this because...

Oh, me too! I just cannot seem to write long fics! Everytime I try I just wind up getting discouraged because I abandon them before they get finished.

I think I'm better at littler things so I guess littler things is what I need to write.

[tariana.livejournal.com]

I struggle with this all the time. I wouldn't say I'm exactly jealous of people who write really long, plotty things, more confused about how they actually do it. I've got a few abandoned WIPs that I'll never finish, I'm sure, and they're discouraging to even look at or think about because I feel like I failed by not finishing them.

I think I'm honestly just better at writing shorter things, so I try to focus on that. I find that if I can write a short thing that is complete and postable, that makes me happier than writing something longer that'll never see the light of day.

I've also been thinking of ideas I had and making them prompts for various fests. I'm not sure if any of them have been claimed yet, but it'll be interesting if they are.

[blossomdreams.livejournal.com]

When I hear my inner critic I try to find something that we'll agree on. Most of the time it's a drabble or a PWP or just something that's silly or out of the fandom that I'm trying to write in at the moment. Other times I just lock the critic up and go look at my other stories that have received reviews. I think back and look at the comments, the positive constructive comments, not the negative ones and try to change my fic from there. When I look at other's fics and go "Wow I wish I could do that!" I just focus on the things I can do like smut, fluff, gen, family, and other things like that. I try to work on getting that better instead of writing a genre I know I would fall flat in. That normally makes the critic quiet down for a while.

[meglw0228.livejournal.com]

I start scribbling. Which is my way of just writing words, sometimes random sentences, sometimes a random paragraph. Then I come back to what I was writing before and make sure it's something I want to create. Not something I need to create. The only time I ever write is when I want to read what I'm writing, and that generally helps with the negativity.

I also remind myself that I'm not a good writer. (And that's not me being pessimistic, more me being honest with myself.) I can always improve my writing, and have already done so. Ten more years down the road and everything I wrote last week really will look like some of my worst thoughts and words.

[sara-holmes.livejournal.com]

I totally agree with the point about negativity coming from reviewers. It takes one thoughtless comment to completely throw a writer off track, which then sucks for all the other people who would like to read more from them.

I don't mind criticism from someone who is polite about it and has the guts to be available for conversation after - someone not long ago called me on my warnings which were lacking, and we had a great conversation about it so I learned quite a lot from it. But you're totally right; it's frustrating when people hide.

And just on a tangent - there are guns everywhere in the UK. Seriously. I took a delivery for my neighbour a while back, and when he collected it he told me it was actually a shotgun. Whoops.

[sara-holmes.livejournal.com]

Step one: Tea. Whenever I get moody or convinced that my writing isn't good enough I turn off the laptop, make obscene amounts of tea and chillax. I find that if I keep staring at words that I have written or am trying to write I can't shake off the negativity, so taking a break to unwind is the simplest thing to do. Then I can just think about the people who do enjoy my writing - even if it isn't as great as I'd like - and then crack back on with trying to make it better.

Step two: Reading my favourite book. It inspires, and to be frank I rationalise that if the story can be a masterpiece and also feature a vodka-drinking, machine-gun-wielding cat, then there's hope for all of us to create something wonderful.

Failing that, I read my old stuff, cringe slightly, then read some of my newer stuff and figure that I can roll with that.

[nimielle.livejournal.com]

Hmmm, how to start. For me, writing something is usually incredibly exciting, all the possibilities open up before me and I'm excited to see where the story will take me. As I write more and more of it, routes I could have taken fall by the wayside as the plot becomes clearer and more set and when I've reached the only about a third of that big bag of potential I've had, has made it onto the page. That's exactly when I get the "post-finishing-blues", that's when I sit there, looking at it and thinking, well, this is shit! But then I start the next project and get sucked into the excitement all over again and the cycle starts anew. I'm so focussed on creating, that I don't have time to worry of whether I'm any good, because my goal is to finish this. I approach every new fic or every new idea as a kind of adventure and experiment. It doesn't matter if it goes wrong and I think it's shit because think about Edison and how many lightbulbs he had to try out before he found the one that worked.

If I do struggle it's because I can't quite figure out how to spin something and what I do is ask other people. This isn't a writer's support group for nothing. Everyone here is super helpful and one is stuck, everyone is full of advice and encouragement. Sarcasm doesn't help anyone and isn't part of concrit, nor should it be part of a beta. We all want to grow as a community and I think we did. This is a beautifully welcoming place, where everyone is welcome to share in the joys of writing and it doesn't matter if you consider yourself a writer or not, it's all about the ride of creation and that's pretty much WHY this place is so amazing!


What I want to say to you, and I don't even know whether anyone really cares, but here it is:

You got out of bed that day, you are creating something that comes out yourself, something that will be part of you and that wasn't there before. It doesn't matter whether it'll change the world, or if it "only" made you happy when you created it. What matters is that you created something. Think about how many people get up and dream about creating things, every morning they get up and then they decided not to, they decide to wait, because they are not good enough, they decide to not create something, because some twat told them they were not good enough. But you created something.

Every human being in my head is a piece of art, everything you achieved makes your more interesting and adds a facet to who you are, things you create are a part of that and you should never ever let anyone tell you that you are no good or worthless. You are the person you have become, you are loveable and wonderful.

It doesn't matter if people don't like what you create, or if that nagging voice says "you suck, stop creating" because it's just not true. People have different tastes in things all the time. How sad would it be, if there was only one thing we would consider beautiful or useful?

I know people often say they don't want to be a great writer, they don't want to create art, but frankly, we all do. We all want to create art and be great writers and do you know what the beauty of it is? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, each and every one of us can decide for ourselves what we think makes a writer great. Does it make a writer great if they win lots of awards, does it make them great if they are published? Does it make them great if the story we just read changes our perception of life, or shows us parts of ourselves we don't like? What about if the story makes you laugh and makes you wear that tiny smile of "I've read something I enjoyed" all day long. Does it make it art or not? The point is, it doesn't matter! The value of writing is what we allow it to be, what we judge it to be.

If someone walks up to you and tells you everything you do is shit, go tell them to go fuck themselves. Yes, positive validation is nice, but frankly, if someone has nothing better to do than make themselves feel better by bashing something someone else created, they don't deserve your time or your attention. The only way they get attention is through being dipshits, because they have no other way to validate themselves.

[nimielle.livejournal.com]

I tend to hold it with Beth Ditto from Gossip, who just doesn't give a shit about what other people think and it's liberating. I know it's harder than it sounds.

You're the 8th wonder of the world, undisputed
not just another bleeding heart
but a master piece or work of art

In conclusion:
You rock my world! All of you! Because you create things. These things might be big or small, they might be the next Mona Lisa or they might not be, but how do you know, if you don't try? And that's why every single one of you, is fucking amazing, because you keep trying!

So instead of listening to that voice inside your head, remember, there's millions of people who never create anything, because they wait for life to give them some clue or chance to get started, but it's up to you and you're already halfway into your story, so the hard part is already over. You might not be able to see it, but you're already racing downhill and there's wind at your back, pushing you on.

And to all of those overly busy bashers out there, tell them to go lick a fire hydrant in winter! It'll shut them up and being stuck out there keeps them off the internet!

[imera.livejournal.com]

I love it how you explain creativity, refreshing. I think I'm basically born with it, and if I'm not creative I will be depressed.

You write a lot of good things here, how we have to be different, have different tastes and so on, and how we should not worry about the negativity. And I'm with you on the negative comments. I don't like using the fuck word like that, but I would gladly say when people are rude to make themselves feel better.

I love all you wrote, refreshing, creative, and not at all rude. Especially loved this line "tell them to go lick a fire hydrant in winter!"

[curiouslyfic.livejournal.com]

This! This so much, ajkkjfdjdfjdsfjlsdg you are delightful to me, Rike-of-awesome, and now I must tackle-glomp. Because there is so much negativity in the marketization/commodification of work, and there is so much positivity in this space, and I think it really does all come down to the understanding that all of it, every single fannish thing we do, is taking a bit of ourselves and expressing it to others through our own means.

Oh, how very tempting it is to nerd things now about self-selection and community and shared semiotic spaces, or like to nerdsplain the expressive value of fanworks and identity performance, but really all of that rolls up to this: I'm here because there is one place in the whole world where I feel like I can express myself creatively and be understood or possibly appreciated. And I don't think I'm the only one who feels that way.

So my two cents in response to your fabulousness is that every single thing that gets posted to a fannish community functions as a gift. Shitting all over that to appease external metrics of "quality" or whatever--which is entirely subjective, as you've said--is the exact opposite of what makes fandom amazing to me.

[curiouslyfic.livejournal.com]

Tea! Tea is so helpful, omg, and I don't even know why it is. Only maybe it's the actual break-taking and the distance it creates from getting sucked in/stuck in that blinky cursor rut of despair?

I am now desperately curious to hear more of this machine-gun-wielding cat, by the way. What book is it?

[curiouslyfic.livejournal.com]

Whoa. That is such a wonderful way to look at it. The difference between wanting to write and needing to write seems small, but it's so huge sometimes. I really like your take on it. <3

[curiouslyfic.livejournal.com]

There's really nothing quite like re-reading nice reviews to quiet the inner critic, is there? :)

[curiouslyfic.livejournal.com]

Yes! I am totally the same about longfic! Fabulous when it happens, but that's just not how I operate. So glad to hear I'm not the only one, you know? *g* The longer the fic gets, the more chance I have to start overthinking it, which inevitably means second-guessing myself, which rarely ends well. Shortficcers unite!

[blossomdreams.livejournal.com]

It is quite nice. :)

Excuse me while I love all over this comment, kthx

[curiouslyfic.livejournal.com]

Oh, man, I live by "save it for beta". Not much help when the ideas won't come or when the characters are being horrible, but so very helpful for everything else that comes up.

Agreed wholeheartedly on word wars. That's how some/most of my major things get done; because I *can't* focus on nitpicking. Also why I write so much at the absolute last minute, but I think it really is a case of whatever works, you know?

I have read neither of these books. Which would you recommend most?

[meglw0228.livejournal.com]

Yes exactly, it seemed so stupid to me when I first started writing...I thought who cares what I want, it should be all about what the readers want and then it was all 'now the readers need this'. The first two years I ever wrote for fun were need based, and some of the worst writing I ever did. Now it almost seems so simple to write something I want to write. Thank you.

[sara-holmes.livejournal.com]

I like to think that tea has super-powers, though I suspect you're right. I also have a typewriter and I LOVE it because it has no blinky cursor to mock me with, just a really satisfying noise when you finish a line :)

The book is The Master and Margerita by Mikhail Bulgakov- it was written in Soviet Russia under Stalin (with the Author hiding in a basement) and it's a mix of a parody of Soviet life and a running commentary on morality. It features the devil and his henchmen wandering around Moscow causing chaos, including the cat (which also steals peoples heads for a laugh). It's utter madness but one of my favourite things ever.

[sara-holmes.livejournal.com]

You're totally right about personal preference - If someone doesn't like my stuff I just think "well, they probably don't like cake, therefore their judgement is debatable anyway."

I think the crux of the matter is the attitudes of the writer and the people around them. Yeah, you can write something that's not great but if people still commend your effort and suggest how to improve rather than just saying YOU SUCK, you learn. Especially in this community - I kind of like to think we're all in this together.

[sara-holmes.livejournal.com]

But not everyone has the stomach for honest feedback, which is how bad writers stay bad.

*nods* I think giving feedback is an art in itself. So hard to hit the mark on 'constructive criticism,' especially if you don't know how the writer may react.

[kinky-kneazle.livejournal.com]

Yes, you're exactly right! Everyone around here helps me get past negativity, with word wars, brainstorming, encouragement and love. Everyone is awesome! Especially you ♥

[kinky-kneazle.livejournal.com]

Coca-Cola is my tea, which is not a good thing because it's rotting my teeth, and possibly the lining of my stomach. When I finally give it up, I'll need to find a replacement of some sort.

Also, I have added that book to my 'to-read list'! It sounds awesome!!!

[sara-holmes.livejournal.com]

Coca-Cola replaced cigarettes for me so I drink waaay too much. I'll never give it up, never! I drink that whilst I'm writing (and driving and walking and sitting down) and then drink tea for breaks :)

It is truly bizarre but yes, I'd go for awesome!

[kinky-kneazle.livejournal.com]

Yes, scribbling, exactly! That's my method as well!

[kinky-kneazle.livejournal.com]

Yes, reading the nice reviews is always a good way to get out of the doldrums <3

[kinky-kneazle.livejournal.com]

I'm thinking of putting my abandoned ideas in as fest prompts as well - it'll be interesting to see what other people do with them.

And any writing you do is useful - as practice, as working through ideas... one day you'll go back to it and use a passage, or half an idea from that WIP will make it's way into your masterpiece. Any writing you do is helpful - never think of it as failing. <3

[kinky-kneazle.livejournal.com]

It's been years since I read Writing Down The Bones, but I own Wild Mind. It has more exercises and the like, and is more practical, so I'll go with that one. Obviously, YMMV, but even years since I read either book, they stay with me and I go back to the exercises I read in the books 7-8 years ago.

Also, yes, I'm a big advocate on doing what works for you. And for me, writing like a mad thing and not worrying about them being perfect is the best way to get past the critic.

[kinky-kneazle.livejournal.com]

I'd get too hung up on each word and completely over-think everything if I did that. I'd freeze completely. But that's why everyone has to go with what works for them. Also, as a poet Robert Hass has the luxury of working in small chunks. Me? Not so much.

[tariana.livejournal.com]

Shortficcers unite indeed! <3

[tariana.livejournal.com]

I think I need to look at it more this way -- and maybe there are things in some of those old WIPs that could be pulled out of the existing story and worked into a shorter thing that I could have some hope of finishing!

That would be nice -- thanks for thinking of it!

[myhappysolitude.livejournal.com]

This post is a godsend. I'm so glad you guys are here. My biggest concern though.. How can you avoid cliches? They sneak up on me and I can't figure it out.. Any tricks? When I see cliches on other writings it's so draining and it makes it hard for me to get through my own writing, it seems so unoriginal. Is it just practice?

Re: Excuse me while I love all over this comment, kthx

[crazyparakiss.livejournal.com]

*will save it all for Curi to correct* ;)

I will read the books as well cause KK r rad and knows what's what so far as Kiss is concerned. :)

[crazyparakiss.livejournal.com]

My dear Sir
Art is useless because its aim is simply to create a mood. It is not meant to instruct, or to influence action in any way. It is superbly sterile, and the note of its pleasure is sterility. If the contemplation of a work of art is followed by activity of any kind, the work is either of a very second-rate order, or the spectator has failed to realise the complete artistic impression.
A work of art is useless as a flower is useless. A flower blossoms for its own joy. We gain a moment of joy by looking at it. That is all that is to be said about our relations to flowers. Of course man may sell the flower, and so make it useful to him, but this has nothing to do with the flower. It is not part of its essence. It is accidental. It is a misuse. All this is I fear very obscure. But the subject is a long one.
Truly yours,
Oscar Wilde

A flower blossoms for its own joy and Kiss equates this with writing for one's own pleasure. Literature is an art and I apply all of this to writing as well.

I write what I want, when I want, how I want--I do not conform to what is right or wrong, good or bad. I don't believe in categories. Certainly if I read something and think "This is terrible," I keep it to myself because who am I to judge what is terrible and who are we to say what should and should not be written? I will never be a proper critic, a critic to me is someone who has no soul and only finds pleasure in tearing down hopes and dreams. I'm a terribly optimistic person who enjoys doing what she wants when she wants and I have no authority in any matter. Plus I like pissing people off "Oh no that horrid writer has written something again!?" *snicker* Keep being offended and keep talking that crap because Kiss is gonna keep on keeping on. ;)

When someone's negative and you let them beat you down then ultimately they win. Don't wilt because they want you to!

[crazyparakiss.livejournal.com]

I love cliches. :D It's about making them your own. We all have silly things we love. Mine is that undying OMG I cannot live without you/need you right the eff now stuff. I see it loads and write it loads. Originality is for people who are trying to hard, in my opinion. Most things have been done before, be original by finding a way to make them your own.

*sends encouragements and love*

[crazyparakiss.livejournal.com]

BEING STUCK OUT THERE KEEPS THEM OFF THE INTERNET! OMFG *ded with the laughters*

You my dear make me smile like WHOA!

And creativity for the win, being negatively analytical for the SUUUUCK. *squishes*

[misbehavingmom.livejournal.com]

love you so much for saying this bb!!! exactly what i needed to read today, you're amazing and i love you!!

[winterstorrm.livejournal.com]

I love you so much right now!
This is just what I needed to hear.