EVENT || CANON QUALIFICATION QUIZ #2 || HUMOR!

[slytherincesss.livejournal.com]

CANON QUALIFICATION QUIZ: GO FOR THE GOLD

Our second Canon Qualification Quiz is here and the theme is humor (or humour, as the non-Americans say!). Under the cut you will find 35 canon quotations waiting for you to identify which Harry Potter book each comes from. How well do you know your canon? Some of the quotations will be easy, some more difficult; what they have in common is that they are all amusing -- at least we think so!

You have until Monday 13 August 2012 at 12:00 A.M. GMT to submit your quiz -- that's a whole week to get it done and go for the gold using your canon knowledge. As with the last canon quiz, you are welcome to use the books, the ebooks, any website, or other resources that will help you reach your goal of getting as many answers correct as possible.

Please email your completed quiz to slytherincess[at]gmail[dot]com and we'll have them read and evaluated by the closing ceremonies on 14 August 2012. Good luck and enjoy!

CANON QUALIFICATION QUIZ #2 - HUMOUR

01. IF YOU ARE UNSURE WHERE TO GO, INCAPABLE OF NORMAL SPEECH OR UNABLE TO REMEMBER WHY YOU ARE HERE, OUR WELCOMEWITCH WILL BE PLEASED TO HELP.

02. ‘This is a useful little spell,’ he told the class over his shoulder. ‘Please watch closely.’

He raised the wand to shoulder height, said ‘Waddiwasi!’ and pointed it at Peeves.

With the force of a bullet, the wad of chewing gum shot out of the keyhole and straight down Peeves’s left nostril; he whirled right way up and zoomed away, cursing.

03. ‘Would you care for a sherbet lemon?’ [Dumbledore]

‘A what?’

‘A sherbet lemon. They’re a kind of Muggle sweet I’m rather fond of.’

‘No, thank you,’ said Professor McGonagall coldly, as though she didn’t think this was the moment for sherbet lemons.

04. ‘You applied first for the Defence Against the Dark Arts post, I believe?’ Professor Umbridge asked Snape.

‘Yes,’ said Snape quietly.

‘But you were unsuccessful?’

Snape’s lip curled.

‘Obviously.’

05. Malfoy and some of the other Slytherins cheered. Hermione was dancing on tiptoes. ‘Do you think he’s all right?’ she squealed through her fingers.

‘Who cares?’ said Harry and Ron together.

06. ‘Remove this foul addition at once! Remove it, I say! You are ruining a great work of art! Where am I? What is going on?’

07. ‘Just put them on, Archie, there’s a good chap, you can’t walk around like that, the Muggle on the gate’s already getting suspicious –’

‘I bought this in a Muggle shop,’ said the old wizard stubbornly. ‘Muggles wear them.’

‘Muggle women wear them, Archie, not the men, they wear these,’ said the Ministry wizard, and he brandished the pinstriped trousers.

‘I’m not putting them on,’ said old Archie in indignation. ‘I like a healthy breeze round my privates, thanks.’

08. ‘You filthy hypocrite! What about you and Lavender, thrashing around like a pair of eels all over the place?’ demanded Ginny.

09. ‘Master Malfoy moves with a nobility that befits his pure blood,’ croaked Kreacher at once. ‘His features recall the fine bones of my mistress and his manners are those of –’

‘Draco Malfoy is a bad boy!’ squeaked Dobby angrily. ‘A bad boy who – who –’

10. ‘Don’t play,’ said Hermione at once.

‘Say you’re ill,’ said Ron.

‘Pretend to break your leg,’ Hermione suggested.

‘Really break your leg,’ said Ron.

11. ‘Mr Filch, the caretaker, has asked me to tell you that the list of objects forbidden inside the castle has this year been extended to include Screaming Yo-yos, Fanged Frisbees and Ever-Bashing Boomerangs. The full list comprises some four hundred and thirty-seven items, I believe, and can be viewed in Mr Filch’s office, if anybody would like to check it.’

12.‘No. Professor Dumbledore managed to convince Fudge that I was trying to save your lives.’ He sighed. ‘That was the final straw for Severus. I think the loss of the Order of Merlin hit him hard. [...]’

13. ‘What did he do to you, Diddy?’ Aunt Petunia said in a quavering voice, now sponging sick from the front of Dudley’s leather jacket. ‘Was it – was it you-know-what, darling? Did he use – his thing?’

14. ‘Is this the moment?’ Harry asked weakly, and when nothing happened except that Ron and Hermione gripped each other still more firmly and swayed on the spot, he raised his voice. ‘OI! There’s a war going on here!’

15. ‘Tut, tut – hardly any of you remembered that my favourite colour is lilac. I say so in Year with a Yeti. And a few of you need to read Wanderings with Werewolves more carefully – I clearly state in chapter twelve that my ideal birthday gift would be harmony between all magic and non-magic peoples – though I wouldn’t say no to a large bottle of Ogden’s Old Firewhisky!’ He gave them another roguish wink.

[...]

‘... but Miss Hermione Granger knew my secret ambition is to rid the world of evil and market my own range of hair-care potions – good girl! In fact –’ he flipped her paper over, ‘full marks! Where is Miss Hermione Granger?’

16. 28. ‘Do you remember me telling you we are practising nonverbal spells, Potter?’

‘Yes,’ said Harry stiffly.

‘Yes sir.’

‘There’s no need to call me “sir”, Professor.’

17. ‘So put me on! Don’t be afraid!
And don’t get in a flap!
You’re in safe hands (though I have none)
For I’m a Thinking Cap!’

18. ‘I’m dying!’ Malfoy yelled, as the class panicked. ‘I’m dying, look at me! It’s killed me!’

19. ‘All right,’ said Hermione, disconcerted. ‘Say the Cloak existed ... what about the stone, Mr Lovegood? The thing you call the Resurrection Stone?’

‘What of it?’

‘Well, how can that be real?’

‘Prove that it is not,’ said Xenophilius.

Hermione looked outraged.

‘But that’s – I’m sorry, but that’s completely ridiculous! How can I possibly prove it doesn’t exist? Do you expect me to get hold of – of all the pebbles in the world, and test them? I mean, you could claim that anything’s real if the only basis for believing in it is that nobody’s proved it doesn’t exist!’

‘Yes, you could,’ said Xenophilius. ‘I am glad to see that you are opening your mind a little.’

20. She seemed to be swelling with inexpressible anger – but the swelling didn’t stop. Her great red face started to expand, her tiny eyes bulged and her mouth stretched too tightly for speech. Next second, several buttons burst from her tweed jacket and pinged off the walls – she was inflating like a monstrous balloon, her stomach bursting free of her tweed waistband, each of her fingers blowing up like a salami ...

21. ‘Ouch! Fred, no – go back, go back, there’s been some kind of mistake – tell George not to – OUCH! George, no, there’s no room, go back quickly and tell Ron –’

‘Maybe Harry can hear us, Dad – maybe he’ll be able to let us out –’

There was a loud hammering of fists on the boards behind the electric fire.

‘Harry? Harry, can you hear us?’

The Dursleys rounded on Harry like a pair of angry wolverines.

‘What is this?’ growled Uncle Vernon. ‘What’s going on?’

‘They – they’ve tried to get here by Floo powder,’ said Harry, fighting a mad desire to laugh. ‘They can travel by fire – only you’ve blocked the fireplace – hang on –’

22. ‘While the diadem bestows wisdom,’ she said, with an obvious effort to pull herself together, ‘I doubt that it would greatly increase your chances of defeating the wizard who calls himself Lord –’

‘Haven’t I just told you, I’m not interested in wearing it!’

23. 19. ‘Oh – sorry, Neville!’ Fred shouted, over all the laughter. ‘I forgot – it was the custard creams we hexed –’

Within a minute, however, Neville had moulted, and once his feathers had fallen off, he reappeared looking entirely normal. He even joined in laughing.

‘Canary Creams!’ Fred shouted to the excitable crowd. ‘George and I invented them – seven Sickles each, bargain!’

24. ‘I hope you’re pleased with yourselves. We could all have been killed – or worse, expelled. Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to bed.’

25. ‘AAAAAAAAAAARGH!’

26. [I]n March several of the Mandrakes threw a loud and raucous party in Greenhouse Three. This made Professor Sprout very happy.

‘The moment they start trying to move into each other’s pots, we’ll know they’re fully mature,’ she told Harry.

27. ‘Did you really?’ said Mr Weasley eagerly. ‘Did it go all right? I-I mean,’ he faltered, as sparks flew from Mrs Weasley’s eyes, ‘that-that was very wrong, boys – very wrong indeed ...’

28. ‘You know,’ said Phineas Nigellus, even more loudly than Harry, ‘this is precisely why I loathed being a teacher! Young people are so infernally convinced that they are absolutely right about everything. Has it not occurred to you, my poor puffed-up popinjay, that there might be an excellent reason why the Headmaster of Hogwarts is not confiding every tiny detail of his plans to you? Have you never paused, while feeling hard-done-by, to note that following Dumbledore’s orders has never yet led you into harm? No. No, like all young people, you are quite sure that you alone feel and think, you alone recognise danger, you alone are the only one clever enough to realise what the Dark Lord may be planning –’

‘He is planning something to do with me, then?’ said Harry swiftly.

‘Did I say that?’ said Phineas Nigellus, idly examining his silk gloves. ‘Now, if you will excuse me, I have better things to do than listen to adolescent agonising ... good-day to you.’

29. ‘What do you like me to call you when we’re alone together?’

Even by the dim light of the lantern Harry could tell that Mrs Weasley had turned bright red; he himself felt suddenly warm around the ears and neck, and hastily gulped soup, clattering his spoon as loudly as he could against the bowl.

‘Mollywobbles,’ whispered a mortified Mrs Weasley into the crack at the edge of the door.

30. Myrtle goggled at them.

‘You’re alive,’ she said blankly to Harry.

‘There’s no need to sound so disappointed,’ he said grimly, wiping flecks of blood and slime off his glasses.

‘Oh, well ... I’d just been thinking. If you had died, you’d have been welcome to share my toilet,’ said Myrtle, blushing silver.

31. Neville and Ginny were dancing nearby – he could see Ginny wincing frequently as Neville trod on her feet – and Dumbledore was waltzing with Madame Maxime. He was so dwarfed by her that the top of his pointed hat barely tickled her chin; however, she moved very gracefully for a woman so large. Mad-Eye Moody was doing an extremely ungainly twostep with Professor Sinistra, who was nervously avoiding his wooden leg.

32. ‘Stop it! Stop it!’ cried the manager, poking the walking stick through the bars and knocking the books apart. ‘I’m never stocking them again, never! It’s been bedlam! I thought we’d seen the worst when we bought two hundred copies of The Invisible Book of Invisibility – cost a fortune, and we never found them ...’

33. Once again the lift doors opened and four or five witches and wizards got out; at the same time, several paper aeroplanes swooped into the lift. Harry stared up at them as they flapped idly around above his head; they were a pale violet colour and he could see Ministry of Magic stamped along the edge of their wings.

‘Just inter-departmental memos,’ Mr Weasley muttered to him. ‘We used to use owls, but the mess was unbelievable ... droppings all over the desks ...’

34. ‘There has been much talk on that very subject even amongst the ghosts,’ interrupted Nearly Headless Nick, inclining his barely connected head towards Harry so that it wobbled dangerously on its ruff. ‘I am considered something of a Potter authority; it is widely known that we are friendly. I have assured the spirit community that I will not pester you for information, however. “Harry Potter knows that he can confide in me with complete confidence,” I told them. “I would rather die than betray his trust.”’

‘That’s not saying much, seeing as you’re already dead,’ Ron observed.

‘Once again, you show all the sensitivity of a blunt axe,’ said Nearly Headless Nick in affronted tones[.]

35. Fred and George turned to each other and said together, ‘Wow – we’re identical!’