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hd_writers2012-01-03 09:48 am
The Joys & Pitfalls of Writing With Foreign Languages
I come to my writer friends today with some food for thought....
Like many folks here, I read and write in multiple languages—but this is a question more-so of format and style, and so applies to everyone, multi-lingual or not.
I’m finding that when we write from the point of view of an English-speaking narrator, it feels most natural to write out the foreign language as Italicized dialogue. For example:
“Bre! Blágo!” he bellowed.
Which feels much better than, say:
“Hey! That's lucky!” he bellowed.
The inclusion of the original language as it was heard by the narrator feels more authentic and helps to keep readers firmly in the world of the narrative. The first example is by far the more popular way of going about foreign-language inclusion… until you get into Cyrillic-based languages, Japanese, Chinese, Arabic, or any language straying outside of the Romanized alphabet.
At this point, we as writers have a choice to make: we can either drop into Italicized phonetics (which are good up to a certain point—namely when upside-down letter E’s becomes involved, then it all dissolves into chaos and readers check out) or we can leave the language in its correct written form (sometimes jarring, suddenly seeing Kanji or backwards R’s in the middle of a neat paragraph) and drop down into footnotes for a proper translation. Either one of these options are squiffy, both having their own sets of pro’s and con’s.
Anyone seen creative ways to work with or around these interludes of dialogue? How do you handle this when the situation arises in your own writing?
My second musing—and, for me, the ultimately larger query—is what to do when the narrator themselves is non-English speaking. A good example would be a scene written from Fleur Delacour’s perspective during which she is conversing with her mother or sister in French. It feels natural to fall into the second category of translation shown above, where foreign-language dialogue is translated into English and written out in Italics to suggest the foreign language without actually including it. However, with this method we lose some of the intrigue of the language: some of the romance dies when we lose that connection to the original spoken language.
I’ve approached this writing conundrum in some different ways but have never been satisfied. One method I tried was taking the entire section—dialogue, inner monologue, observations and all—and placing it in Italics, as my narrator, a Frenchman, would not only speak in French but think and process his surroundings in French, too. The full Italics were to suggest his French-language thoughts. It worked… alright, I guess. Like I said, I wasn’t entirely pleased. I suppose to readers it made enough sense to be passable. The scene was ominous, lending the Italics a moody, stuck-in-time feel which was more-or-less appropriate.
We could take my method to the extreme, writing the entire scene in the character’s language of thought—so the above example would become a passage, 200-300 words entirely in French—and then following with the same scene in English translation. This could be cool… or it could be chunky and ultimately turn readership away. Thoughts?
At the end of the day, my musing consists of….
What is the best way to communicate a scene from a non-English-speaking character’s point of view when they are speaking with others in their mother tongue? Is there a way to retain some of the romance of the spoken language without clogging the format and visual flow of your page?
I look forward to chatting about this in the comments! It’s something I’ve been beating my head against for a while now….
sordid
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To play Devil's Advocate, there can be moments in a story when providing no translation of a particular phrase is convenient for the author and advances the plot. While this method needs to be used with care, it can be very effective.
I used this method in a scene where Hermione and Viktor Krum are discussing the war: Krum references the Bulgarian version of "You Know Who," which I spelled out in Cyrillic rather than Romanized. I did this because the scene was from Hermione's point of view. Hermione, not speaking a lick of Bulgarian, would find the words absolutely foreign coming from Viktor's lips. I wanted to create that jarring effect for my audience by writing the Cyrillic, knowing most of my readership would not understand the word or have a clue how it was pronounced. I provided no translation. Like Hermione, my readers were supposed to cock their heads and go "huh?". But it was clear the characters were discussing Voldemort and I did not use this method often, making this instance stand out in the reader's memory. I used this moment to advance a sub-plot in which my Hermione develops a cold attitude towards Eastern-European men, starting with this tiny moment with Krum and building outward. If you use it right and sparingly, the jar and clang of foreign language can be very helpful.
I am an audio-synesthete, so for me, I need to at least see the written language so I can try to decipher what it would sound like. Sometimes the cadence a character speaks with or the repetition of certain vowels or consonants can be just as telling as what they're actually saying. Personally, I feel cheated when a character is translated into English without the original language appearing somewhere, even in a footnote. I'm curious and I like to know! :)
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I understand what you mean by withholding an element of mystery. I do, it's just, as a reader I get frustrated when I don't know what's being said. It piece of dialogue I'd read at the time wasn't part of a mystery. It was a conversation between Draco and Fleur about babies. *shrugs*
If it had been used as a part of a mystery I might have been able to forgive the author, lol.
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"When I spell out the word as it's said (I just learned from you it's called Cyrillic, so thanks!)"
Erm, Cyrillic is just the name of the script in which some Slavic languages (like Russian and Bulgarian, to name just two) are written -- as opposed to Latin script, which we are using.
So, Victor Krum would appear as Виктор Крум in Cyrillic. :) You're citing Harry pronouncing ΥΠΑΚΟΎΝ/υπακουν phonetically; in Latin script it'd be something like "epakoin" -- which he'd need to see to try pronouncing at all, since Harry most likely wouldn't recognize the Greek script apart from the few letters (ά,β,γ,δ, and of course π) used in fairly elemental Maths/geometry he'd have learnt at school before starting Hogwarts.
*stuffs inner teacher back into box*
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May I have a link to the fic in return, please (if possible)?
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The Poetry of Fragments (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5784778/1/The_Poetry_of_Fragments)
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*kicks LJ for delivering the comment 3 days late*
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IIRC, her icons are free to share -- even the bases. Just give credit. :) (You may have to friend her, though -- and be sure to look at her manips of Awesomeness!)
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It so happens that I took a year of Russian at school and two years' worth of Classic Greek at Uni, so I'm reasonably familiar with both scripts (or used to be, anyway; it's been ages ...)
I'm also hopelessly geeky and anal where languages/language in general are/is concerned, so it's no wonder the schoolmarm comes out every now and then. :)